Reciprocity in Relationships

The Sensory Playspace Podcast

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Reciprocity in Relationships

Episode 3 of The Sensory Playspace Podcast explores how to increase intimacy in relationships through reciprocity.

euni

Jun 16, 2024

Transcript

What makes a relationship rich and sustainable? IMO - Space holding and reciprocity in relationships is vital. This has grown into something that is also a non-negotiable for me and admittedly as a person who has lived most of their life giving with a lot of pleasure and ease, and holding a lot of fear and refusal in the taking and receiving, it’s a dedicated practice that begins with how I show up with myself before I even connect with anyone else.

I remember hearing this quote from Brené Brown a few years back that softly stuck as a reminder to try to find balance in both the ways I connect with other, but most importantly, it was an invitation to dive deeper into truer vulnerability. Vulnerability not founded on agenda, power, control, or imbalances in reciprocity. This quote came back up recently in a book I’ve been reading, Claim your Power in the chapter on The Benefit of Letting Go. Brené says,

Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgement to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attachment to giving help.

I have experienced relationships in ways of connection with agenda more frequently than I have connection from a place of exploration, curiosity, creativity, collaboration, pleasure, play, and expansion of purpose + love. I have sought out relationships to fulfill my “role” of being able to take care of or fix another in exchange for love. I’ve experienced being pursued by another to fill the void of loneliness, to avoid what they needed to face, and to take in order to feel powerful to overshadow ways they’ve felt weak before. I’ve found myself in relationships playing out roles - mirroring the recreation of the ways I’ve felt unseen, unloved, and abandoned by the ones I loved.

The truth is, we all move through life playing out our childhood stories until we become aware of them. And in the moments that we do, we get the opportunity to slow down, take a look at who we’ve become over all these years, and to lean into our courage and creativity to create the life, love, and relationships we want the most.

Reciprocity has become something that has allowed me to connect, heal, reclaim, and release in relationships.

Reciprocity has created space for deeper and more fulfilling ways to relate build on a foundation of connection and not what one person does for the other.

Reciprocity has given me spaciousness to heal by allowing me to move through fears, insecurities, and provided ways that I could relax, rest, and use my voice to speak my truths.

Reciprocity has helped me reclaim agency over my entire self. Especially when connecting with others. It’s given me space to know that I can receive without being owned and give without feeling entitled to take ownership or expect in return.

Reciprocity has given me space to release past experiences that have become compasses for how I move through the world. It’s allowed me to soften, let down my guard, and release the protective response that often comes out as control.

Through practicing reciprocity as the foundation for relationship building, I have been able to experience more connectivity and intimacy and fulfillment in every type of relationship no matter if it is casual, platonic, professional, romantic, or sexual.

Have a listen to Episode 3 of The Sensory Playspace Podcast I have a little chat about Reciprocity in Relationships and leave a comment in the substack post to share what you’re taking away. Share this episode with your friends/lovers/family and let’s keep the conversation going.

SHOW NOTES

In this episode we talk about:

Relating creates possibility
Exploration reciprocity across different relationship dynamics
What does reciprocity feel like?
Green flags in relationships and reciprocal connections
Intentionality in connection
Giving permission and leading by example
Honesty, directness, and the courage to tell the truth
Practicing active listening and creating space for really understanding what is being said
Connection from a place of acting beyond the bare minimum, creating space for desire, pleasure and authenticity in feeling
Allowing and creating space for self connection, individuality, and separateness
Giving and receiving abundantly
Permission to practice connecting and showing up