What Happens When You're Tired of Being Numb?
To become a different version of ourselves requests and requires letting go of what kept us safe and moving into the unknown.
Life is meant to be lived in the present moment. It’s a gift to exist and a practice to live without performing every element of life. To feel alive, we must find passion, purpose, and a reason to release the urge to die. For some, this may feel morbid or dramatic. And that’s perhaps because they have never allowed themselves to feel deep enough to feel the aches that pulse when you realize that you’re actually living someone else’s life.
What happens when you’re tired of being numb? When you reach a point in the aliveness that screams, what is worth it to be here and fighting for the freedom to breathe? There’s a caution we all carry until we’re backed into a corner without options that are cozy. A safety that we maintain that keeps us from derailing too much or becoming too unhinged and labeled as cringe or even further canceled by the community or cultures that we desire to be seen within.
There’s nothing that will ever replace the ways in which feeling brings clarity. And I’ve discovered that feeling is more than just a physical sensation awakening in the body. It’s a soul’s liberation and dedication to merging meaning into the day-to-day life.
Sometimes I feed into the expectations placed upon me by others projections or misinterpretation of expansive vocabulary. The lack of creativity to think critically and the courage to rewrite the rules of and meanings of words and ways of expressing puts boxes around the way my mind collaborates with my body-heart-soul in effort to bring truth to the surface. To give space for possibilities that span beyond what has been and the freedom to explore the fantasies.
What is intimacy?
I wonder if anyone actually wants to know. Not as a definition. Or theory. Not as a command for connection. Or a control to contain the labels that were created to validate feelings that were previously vague or unknown.
But as a foundation. To living an inspiring and inspired life. As a stabilizer to return to daily to better know and translate the most beautiful parts of ourselves. As a practice of creative expression. A permission to be seen. A validation to the ones we see. As a knowing in actions. A designing of what all could be.
Intimacy is an awakening of feeling. It’s the truth that lives within the walls of our hearts. It gives us the bravery to become. And hold us in the unavoidable process of shedding and reshaping who we want to be.
So what do you want - in life - in love - in relationship - from intimacy?
Being able to ask questions and give space for the answers to unfold is a skill that will benefit all parts of ones life. It’s a practice that serves purpose beyond self improvement life hacking and gives strength to the limbo of change where one lingers in the space in between.
Not fearing looking into the mirror and seeing the reflection relationships shine back at you is not only healing, but expansive.
Devotion to vulnerability, not just in the moments that are perfectly designed for messy relating, but especially in the moments that authentically occur and unfold in real time is skill building that strengthens not only capacity, but the confidence to be imperfectly received, held, heard, known, and loved.
What makes one easy to love?
Who knows. But I don’t know if ease is the point. Because the truth is that we are all loved in some kind of way. What’s more important is not the ease of being received with love, but more so the ways in which we can receive the love that comes towards us in every shape and form. It’s deeply diving into our core truths of what we are seeking to feel - in expression - and receive - in the ways others see into our deepest desires and needs. It’s the designing of a language that lets down our own walls so that others can move closer to us in connection and hold our human with care and curiosity. It’s the intimacy of knowing our own selves in such a way that even when we are met with love that feels like pain, or expectations that try to bring us to our knees or make us feel weak - we can meet the mis-connections with a gentle thunder that shakes the earth beneath and rebuilds these almost-but not quite it-versions of love.
What do you do when you’ve become so rigidly committed to a life that you no longer feel inspired to create?
Let go. Get curious. Experiment. Design a new process. This is the ways in which we begin to know intimacy. Not just through the ways in which we shape shift between the sheets. But really, most powerfully, in the ways we surrender to shedding anything that takes us away from living our lives most authentically. Anything that makes us hardened and fearful to live life boldly. Of all the things that silence our weird. And all the ways we play into shaming our own desires, needs, and beliefs.
This month, I’m inviting you to go deeper with me.
I can’t create the intimacy you desire, but I can guide you in a way that helps you uncover your deepest truths and helps you get there. OPEN TO INTIMACY is a one month group mentorship container for those who desire to dive deeper into their intimacy, healing + relational journey with guided support.
This mentorship container is a dedicated space to help you move towards living a more connective, authentic, and pleasure centered life. OPEN is a space for learning more about your own unique desires, language, and connection to all the layers of intimacy and will empower you to understand and embody greater agency, expression, and confidence in connecting with others around pleasure, play + love.
We meet weekly on Tuesdays at 5pm for one month online for guided group sessions to explore topics, somatic practices + workshop connective tools in a space designed to move each individual towards better embodiment and bravery to live life more intimately.
Mentorship begins July 22nd. Does this sound like something for you? Learn more + sign up to join us in the journeying towards living more openly with intimacy in all the parts of your life.
Because, what else do we have to do with a life other than full live?
Other ways to experience/contribute with euni:
• 21 Days of Intimacy - self paced lab
• Instagram: selfstudylab
• Join the Sensory Playspace Chat
• Donate to the somatic studio fundraiser
• Sign up as a paid subscriber